Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
