so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
