that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
