so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
