Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So. Much. Porn.
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