Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
