ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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