Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
