shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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