I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
