LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize