Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
