I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
