ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I currently don't understand fingers.
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