I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
