His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
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we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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