I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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