Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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