I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm just crazy horny about you
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
