Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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