hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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