i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
