Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize