Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
