You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
