Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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