ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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