4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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