Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
