During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
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The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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