some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
