let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
