If that was your dad, he is hot
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Randomize
