I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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