There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
