all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
