I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
