batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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