yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
