Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
