In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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