How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
