What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
