Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
