u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
