we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
