So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
