Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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