just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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