i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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