I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
