Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my being single is dangerous.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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