Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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