My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
