On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize