i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
