just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
