Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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