After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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