just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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