So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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