idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
