Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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