...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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