No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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